Step Four - Fail without fear
Let's be honest, children are rubbish at most things aren't they? I can draw much better than they can, I can definitely do hard sums better, and I'm just generally better co-ordinated and more efficient at pretty much everything from putting on my socks to arranging a party. Yay me! Go to step one - celebrate being better at things than children!
But before we write them off completely, let's consider something they are much better at - learning.
A child learns a huge amount in a short space of time, without any apparent effort. Listen to a foreign woman on public transport talking to her child. Try and work out what she's saying. The child is in the same position as you - learning a brand new language just by listening.
It's the same way you learned to speak English - but how on earth did you do that? When you hear it in another language, you realise how hard it is to speak and understand.
Well, the secret is that children try and they fail. Over and over again, until they work out how to do something. They mimic, they copy, they try words to see what they sound like. They get it wrong a lot, but pretty soon, you can have a conversation with them. Isn't that amazing?
When you fail, you learn a lot more than when you succeed. And if you fail a lot, you learn a lot, and you work out how not to do it. No-one ever learned anything by getting it right the first time.
But, as adults, we're not very good at failing. It's seen as a weakness, and a BAD THING to be avoided at all costs. This is holding us back, and it's time you started failing, as the next step on your road to complete happiness.
Here are some memorable fails by me:
- I failed to get onto a media course at university. I thought this would be the best route into journalism. Turned out I was wrong, as most post-graduate journalism courses reject people with media degrees. Phew, thank goodness for failure!
- I failed to emigrate to Australia. Who knows, I could be on a beach by now, in the sun, not having to contemplate another British winter. Okay, I'm still sad about that one, but if I'd succeeded, I'd never have met my husband. And probably not started my own business.
- I failed to get a job I was desperate for, at Westcountry television. This led me to the decision to leave the job I was unhappy in, and travel round the world. Was I running away from my problems? Yes, and it was the best decision I've ever made.
I've failed a lot since I started my own business. And it's helped me understand what I'm good at, and what I'm not. Sometimes it's embarrassing, sometimes it's humiliating, but always I learn.
Never be afraid to try on the basis that you might fail. You MUST fail, and you must fail until you learn, and then you will be better at what you do. But don't just take my word on it, check out what James Dyson has to say about failure
In fact, if you read more about entrepreneurs, you will find that they all fail, over and over again. They view problems the way children do, and they try things. And one day, they get everything right, and then they're billionaires. That's worth a few tries isn't it?
Don't let the fear of failure get in the way of trying to be what you always wanted to be.
Top tip: Since we're doing this the lazy way, get a blanket, sit in front of the telly, and watch The Pursuit of Happyness. It is a testament to trying, trying and trying again, even when it seems the universe doesn't want you to succeed. It's based on a true story. See the trailer here
And it's got Will Smith in it. See how good I am to you?
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| Do you get the feeling this isn't going to end well? Picture from morgueFile free photos |
Let's be honest, children are rubbish at most things aren't they? I can draw much better than they can, I can definitely do hard sums better, and I'm just generally better co-ordinated and more efficient at pretty much everything from putting on my socks to arranging a party. Yay me! Go to step one - celebrate being better at things than children!
But before we write them off completely, let's consider something they are much better at - learning.
A child learns a huge amount in a short space of time, without any apparent effort. Listen to a foreign woman on public transport talking to her child. Try and work out what she's saying. The child is in the same position as you - learning a brand new language just by listening.
It's the same way you learned to speak English - but how on earth did you do that? When you hear it in another language, you realise how hard it is to speak and understand.
Well, the secret is that children try and they fail. Over and over again, until they work out how to do something. They mimic, they copy, they try words to see what they sound like. They get it wrong a lot, but pretty soon, you can have a conversation with them. Isn't that amazing?
When you fail, you learn a lot more than when you succeed. And if you fail a lot, you learn a lot, and you work out how not to do it. No-one ever learned anything by getting it right the first time.
But, as adults, we're not very good at failing. It's seen as a weakness, and a BAD THING to be avoided at all costs. This is holding us back, and it's time you started failing, as the next step on your road to complete happiness.
Here are some memorable fails by me:
- I failed to get onto a media course at university. I thought this would be the best route into journalism. Turned out I was wrong, as most post-graduate journalism courses reject people with media degrees. Phew, thank goodness for failure!
- I failed to emigrate to Australia. Who knows, I could be on a beach by now, in the sun, not having to contemplate another British winter. Okay, I'm still sad about that one, but if I'd succeeded, I'd never have met my husband. And probably not started my own business.
- I failed to get a job I was desperate for, at Westcountry television. This led me to the decision to leave the job I was unhappy in, and travel round the world. Was I running away from my problems? Yes, and it was the best decision I've ever made.
I've failed a lot since I started my own business. And it's helped me understand what I'm good at, and what I'm not. Sometimes it's embarrassing, sometimes it's humiliating, but always I learn.
Never be afraid to try on the basis that you might fail. You MUST fail, and you must fail until you learn, and then you will be better at what you do. But don't just take my word on it, check out what James Dyson has to say about failure
In fact, if you read more about entrepreneurs, you will find that they all fail, over and over again. They view problems the way children do, and they try things. And one day, they get everything right, and then they're billionaires. That's worth a few tries isn't it?
Don't let the fear of failure get in the way of trying to be what you always wanted to be.
Top tip: Since we're doing this the lazy way, get a blanket, sit in front of the telly, and watch The Pursuit of Happyness. It is a testament to trying, trying and trying again, even when it seems the universe doesn't want you to succeed. It's based on a true story. See the trailer here
And it's got Will Smith in it. See how good I am to you?
