Step Eight - the lazy girl's guide to grooming

Picture from MorgueFile free photos

I was delighted to see an article in the Evening Standard about a "growing movement" in which cool young things choose not to shave their armpits. 

In fact, the article goes on to say, there's a whole Facebook group dedicated to those who want to wear their hair au naturel - Women Against Non-essential Grooming, or WANG. Well hurrah! I might even put down the razor myself, just to see if the world stops revolving in disgust. Maybe we should all start dyeing our underarm hair, that would be fun. A lot more fun than shaving rash anyway, that's for sure.

As a lazy girl, the pressure to be constantly shaving, plucking, shaping or smoothing something is exhausting.
After years of doing the bare minimum in order to appear 'professional', I have only recently become brave enough to go to work without make-up, which is my usual state, and one which most of my friends and family would recognise as 'what I look like'.

I honestly think women would achieve so much more in the world if they weren't constantly being forced to groom themselves to within an inch of their lives. 

We are constantly told it's time to lose weight, change what our hair looks like, get a whole new wardrobe, and the right shoes of course. Frankly, who has time or money enough to follow all this advice? I'll tell you who - Liz Jones. And it hasn't exactly made her a poster girl for happiness has it?

Fashion icon Victoria Beckham, she of the 'extra half an inch' doesn't exactly strike me as a great laugh either. All her publicity is just so very self-conscious and unnatural. And as for hiding away when you're pregnant, what's that all about?

Fashion magazines expect us to work hard all year. In the spring, we are exhorted to 'get a beach body'. At Christmas, we should be starving ourselves into a little black dress for 'the party season'. Year after year, the same stories in the magazines - be thinner, spend more time on your appearance, buy new things. But don't forget to be an independent woman at the same time - you can have it all!

Bollocks. I'm outing myself now as a non-groomer. I get my hair coloured, because I truly don't think I was meant to be a natural mouse, and I like being blonder, but when it comes to plucking, shaving, straightening, removing and applying, well, as long as I smell okay, and I feel okay, then forget it. 

And after all, how do you get a bikini body? This diagram says it all ....

 

At the same time, if grooming is your thing, then go for it. I'm not anti-grooming per se, I'm anti-compulsory grooming for women. There's no shame in looking the way you look, whatever that is. All I want is a bit of choice. Don't judge me on my 'imperfectly shaped' eyebrows, or my flat shoes. 

I believe that the people who care the most about what they look like are the least interesting people, because they're no good at letting it all hang out and having fun. And with the rise of the selfie, things are getting worse and worse. You have to look good ALL THE TIME, EVERYWHERE! Well, I hope you will join me in sticking two fingers up at those who tell us it's our job to look good. Look good if you enjoy it, and if you look good naturally, then lucky you! But don't make it the law. It's too tiring.

Top tip - Take a trip to WANG on Facebook - their mission statement: WANG believes that everyone should be free from coercive gendered bodily norms and should have absolute bodily autonomy. We look forward to a day when people can present their bodies in whatever way they choose, free from political, social, and economic constraints!