Step Two - Be your own best friend
Imagine if a close friend of yours said to you "I feel really fat and ugly today". What would your response be? Would you say "Yes, that's because you're greedy and lazy?"
I'm guessing the answer is no, of course not. You would probably sympathise, say that we all have days like that, you look great, don't be silly, etc etc.
So, what about when you look in the mirror in the morning and think to yourself "I feel really fat and ugly today". What does the little voice in your head say? It's time to find out if you're your own worst enemy.
Be honest with yourself, and listen to what your inner voice says to you throughout the day. Do you tell yourself you're not thin enough, your hair's rubbish, you're no good at your job, or that this kind of mistake is so typical of you?
If so, your next step to happiness is to tell the voice to shut the hell up, because it's not doing you any good. You need to be your own best friend and give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself, tell yourself you're doing your best, and learn to please yourself, rather than doing things because the voice tells you you should.
And, while we're at it, there's another voice too, and this one can be much more dangerous. This one's pretending to be your friend, but it's saying things like: I know you wanted to go to the gym today, but you've been working so hard, and you're tired, and you need to wash your hair, and there's that thing on the TV that you'll miss if you go. Everything's not so bad, just imagine, it could be worse, best not rock the boat or do anything rash. Just stay as you are, you're fine.
This voice is the one that will talk you out of taking risks, changing habits and trying something new and different. This voice is stopping you from being happy just as much as Mr Nasty on the other shoulder. And if your habits and lifestyle aren't making you happy, you need to make some changes, and not let Mr Nice talk you out of them.
As Whitney Houston once said, (although I can't sing it without sniggering): "learning to love yourself, that is the greatest love of all". But she was right, rest her soul.
Be your own cheerleader. We all make mistakes and none of us is perfect, but our imperfections make us likeable. None of your friends is perfect and you don't love them any the less for it, do you? In fact, people who are perfect are quite annoying, so why would you want to be like them?
What are the funniest things about your friends, that makes you like them the most? I bet it's not the fact that they get up at 6am every morning and do a ten mile run is it?
I bet it's more like the time they got drunk and told your boss something really indiscreet and then fell off their chair, isn't it? Give yourself a break, and don't beat yourself up about things you say or do.
So, to summarise: Be nice to yourself, but be honest, and work out what's really bothering you, after shutting up both the voices of Mr Nice and Mr Nasty.
Mean and cruel people are unhappy people. Make yourself happy, and you'll be a kinder person, and that will make you even happier. It's an upward spiral, but you must start with you.
Top Tip: Listen to the way you speak to yourself. Then try and work out what you'd like to be doing that you're not doing. Don't let Mr Nice talk you out of it or Mr Nasty tell you you'll never change. Just try it. Today. Now.
Imagine if a close friend of yours said to you "I feel really fat and ugly today". What would your response be? Would you say "Yes, that's because you're greedy and lazy?"
I'm guessing the answer is no, of course not. You would probably sympathise, say that we all have days like that, you look great, don't be silly, etc etc.
So, what about when you look in the mirror in the morning and think to yourself "I feel really fat and ugly today". What does the little voice in your head say? It's time to find out if you're your own worst enemy.
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| Picture from morgueFile free photos |
Be honest with yourself, and listen to what your inner voice says to you throughout the day. Do you tell yourself you're not thin enough, your hair's rubbish, you're no good at your job, or that this kind of mistake is so typical of you?
If so, your next step to happiness is to tell the voice to shut the hell up, because it's not doing you any good. You need to be your own best friend and give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself, tell yourself you're doing your best, and learn to please yourself, rather than doing things because the voice tells you you should.
And, while we're at it, there's another voice too, and this one can be much more dangerous. This one's pretending to be your friend, but it's saying things like: I know you wanted to go to the gym today, but you've been working so hard, and you're tired, and you need to wash your hair, and there's that thing on the TV that you'll miss if you go. Everything's not so bad, just imagine, it could be worse, best not rock the boat or do anything rash. Just stay as you are, you're fine.
This voice is the one that will talk you out of taking risks, changing habits and trying something new and different. This voice is stopping you from being happy just as much as Mr Nasty on the other shoulder. And if your habits and lifestyle aren't making you happy, you need to make some changes, and not let Mr Nice talk you out of them.
As Whitney Houston once said, (although I can't sing it without sniggering): "learning to love yourself, that is the greatest love of all". But she was right, rest her soul.
Be your own cheerleader. We all make mistakes and none of us is perfect, but our imperfections make us likeable. None of your friends is perfect and you don't love them any the less for it, do you? In fact, people who are perfect are quite annoying, so why would you want to be like them?
What are the funniest things about your friends, that makes you like them the most? I bet it's not the fact that they get up at 6am every morning and do a ten mile run is it?
I bet it's more like the time they got drunk and told your boss something really indiscreet and then fell off their chair, isn't it? Give yourself a break, and don't beat yourself up about things you say or do.
So, to summarise: Be nice to yourself, but be honest, and work out what's really bothering you, after shutting up both the voices of Mr Nice and Mr Nasty.
Mean and cruel people are unhappy people. Make yourself happy, and you'll be a kinder person, and that will make you even happier. It's an upward spiral, but you must start with you.
Top Tip: Listen to the way you speak to yourself. Then try and work out what you'd like to be doing that you're not doing. Don't let Mr Nice talk you out of it or Mr Nasty tell you you'll never change. Just try it. Today. Now.
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