Step Five - Exercise and the lazy girl

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It's New Year, and every publication on earth is urging its readers to discover a 'new you' using the methods of not eating and exercising a lot more, illustrated with photos of washboard stomachs and skinny upper arms. Sigh, how tiresome.

Of course, now we're at step five, you're already aware that there's nothing at all wrong with the old you, in fact it could be that you're feeling rather marvellous about life and hurrah to that!

But, even lazy girls have to face the facts, and the facts are:
- after a Christmas of fun and frolics, you may be feeling a little bit fuzzier around the edges
- it's no fun being overweight, as it means you have no energy to do all the fun things enjoyed by lazy girls, and none of your clothes fit any more, which is a bummer
- the science says that if you eat healthily, you live longer, and this is a GOOD THING, as how are you going to fit all the things you want to do into your happy lifetime otherwise?

So, as a lazy girl who finds exercise boring, how are we to proceed?

Firstly, as I said earlier, there is nothing wrong with the old you, so let's not start the year trying to look like those people in magazines. The very thin people are a very small part of the population, and not representative of real life. Take a look around you in a crowded place - most people don't look like that. To try to achieve that is a waste of your time, and will make you a very dull person indeed. There is nothing wrong with being normal. So, before you start, take an honest look in the mirror, or, better still, have a look at a recent photograph. Look at yourself in a non-judgemental way. Could still do with losing a couple of pounds? That's fine, and natural, and all part of our "winter plumage" as I like to call it. Let's not beat ourselves up about it, but perhaps a little music and movement is in order to knock off the soft edges.

How you go about doing this is up to you, but here's my advice, based on a lifetime of dragging myself off the sofa:

- your motivation is how good you'll feel afterwards. There is nothing like a good rest when you've deserved it by doing something energetic. To enjoy the lazy life to the utmost, get all your chores (and that includes exercise) out of the way and then have a lovely sit down, guilt-free and in the knowledge that all the day's hard work is done. There is no feeling like it. 

- use distraction techniques. Listen to your favourite upbeat music (I find the work of Muse and Hard-Fi excellent for keeping me going on the exercise bike), keep an eye on the heart-rate monitor and see if you can keep it at a certain level, or watch really bad reality TV on the video screens. Think through complex problems, make plans, plan your top ten holiday destinations, say the alphabet backwards - whatever it takes to just keep going. ON NO ACCOUNT think about the exercise you're doing, and how much it hurts, and how nice it would be to stop.

- mix it up. Walk a friend's dog, dance, cycle to the park, put the hoover round the living room, go for a brisk walk at lunchtime, or walk further to work - (that way the exercise is done before the day even starts - winner!) Take every opportunity to get up and do something - make a cup of tea for your workmates, take the stairs to the next floor instead of the lift. Get a pedometer and try to do 10,000 steps a day (it's about six miles, and it's how much we're supposed to do every day - no wonder we have an obesity problem in this country, that's loads!)

- don't overdo it. There's nothing more annoying than the gym in January - everyone puffing away doing loads of work, and then *pouf* - gone by mid-February. Exercise is for life my friends, not just for Christmas, so you need to be realistic about how much you're prepared to do, every week, forever. And then, try and work out the most fun way of getting it done.

- eat more proper food. I don't need to tell you what this means, you already know that vegetables are good for you, and cakes are not. Sugar is not your friend. Step away from the biscuits, and then you won't have to do so much of the boring exercise. It's not rocket science, but you have to be honest with yourself about your eating habits.

Top tip: If you respond well to straight talking, try Run Fat Bitch, Run, by Ruth Field - no-nonsense advice for lazy girls who'd like to look better in trousers.